There are so many things to be grateful for and so many things that I have mourned the loss of. One of those major losses that I have mourned in my life is my relationship with my Nona. She was an absolute delight and a major influencer in my life. She was arguably the greatest example in my life of what a true, all encompassing woman is to be. She was amazing to say the least. That relationship had such a great impact on my life that I hope to carry on that relationship style with the beloved in my life now.
What sparked these thoughts was having a conversation over the phone with my mom. I had been sharing my thoughts about how my five guys will be okay if I leave once their relationships are strengthened enough to still be connected if and when I pass on. She said, “I wouldn’t be okay if you died though.” And that began this large dissertation of sorts explaining that what we truly mourn as believers in Christ is that separation period or pause that we experience when someone close to us pass on to being in the presence of Almighty God while we are still here living in this broken, bittersweet world. We don’t want to experience the bitterness of this world without the sweetness of their companionship and relationship.
I moved on to purpose and plan at this point. There is so much encouragement in recognizing the large and small impacts on our lives from those we have a relationship with. This leads to the plan that God has for us in making an impact on others as well. Relationships are, of course, symbiotic by definition. It takes two to have a relationship. Our purpose is to have an impact on others to help them along with the plan God has for them just as much as they have an impact on us to move on with the plan God has for us.
For those of you that already knew this information, I am so glad that you get this. But for those of us just now realizing this, can you help us learn some more things to make life more sweet and less bitter? I can speak for some of the rest of us that did not know this before that we could really use some encouragement and guidance from you specifically.
Back to the conversation at hand. Once expounding on relationships with others and how they are important to both involved had come to a near close, another idea sparked off. The way that one book, the Bible, can speak to each and every relationship, which by the way is different at any given moment from any other moment in every other relationship, is absolutely amazing and extraordinary. I read the Bible for encouragement, guidance, and to know more about Almighty God that can help grow me to a deeper and more wonderful relationship with Him. Ultimately, my relationship with Him is my very most important relationship. I love my relationships with my husband, sons, siblings, parents, family, friends, and others. However, at the very core of my being, my relationship with Our Father is my highest priority.
We mourn the loss of someone while we are living the bittersweet life because of the loss of time with that person. And that lead me to the realization of the positives and negatives of relationship while in “bittersweet” life. When we are having a negative experience with someone, it may be possible that they are learning something from that encounter from us that is leading them on the path that God had planned for them, and in turn, we are learning to trust the path that we are on as well. It is somewhat mind expanding the lessons that could be learned if we approached our relationships in this way – not as a way to get something from someone but as a way of giving aid to someone.
I ended the conversation with my mom with, “In the grand scheme of things, the pause or time of separation between one of us moving on to the sweet life while the other stays in the bittersweet part of life is just as long as the blink of an eye.” Once reunited, we will be in the presence of God Almighty with is sweet life for eternity – no bitterness or pain anywhere ever. So I am looking forward to that time, but I also understand that I am still here for purposes that I don’t know about right now. I will once it is over, but until then, asking God to use me in whatever he deems purposeful and helpful to others is what I am focused on now.
Now that I share all of this, I hope that the conversation that we had helps her. I hope it helps her to be more content in the stage of life that she is at right now. Her anxiety and worry aren’t helpful for her. She is overwhelmed at times with these feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness, and she doesn’t seem to understand where it is coming from. But I think if she were to look more at how she can help others in various ways, I think that she could maybe be uplifted out of the mire and darkness of the bitterness of life and up into the sweetness of life.
Gotta go fill up my cup…..