I keep looking on the band on my arm that reads “ALLERGY”. It’s on a red band in big, bold letters. It is wrapped around my wrist along side my white identification band. I used to also have to wear a bright yellow band that read “FALL RISK”, but that one, thankfully, is no longer required for me since I can walk unassisted at this time. I am so very grateful to have that one gone. However, I am grateful for this band. In the event someone accidentally prescribes one of the medications that causes me harm, and in the event the pharmacy would miss checking this medication against the allergies list attached to my medical record, the nurse getting ready to administer the medication would see this and know to double check to see if the medication is on my allergies list. This nurse would then see not to give the medication, and this nurse would follow a set protocol that involves calling the doctor, asking if this is what the doctor meant to order or should the doctor order something else. This arm band could be the deterrent to some catastrophic event.
This is one of the ways I look at some of the things in my life that to others may be okay but , to me it is catastrophic. Let’s take alcohol for example. Alcohol is neither good nor bad. In fact, in the Bible, it says that wine “makes glad the heart of man (Psalm 104:15).” “Alcohol is not itself tainted by sin. Drunkenness and enslavement to alcohol are sinful, which is why Christians must refrain from drinking alcohol in excess,” says Dave Jenkins in a blog post titled “Did Jesus Drink Wine, and Should We?”. However, for me, any alcohol is bad. It dehydrates me, which I am pretty sure most of us are dehydrated. However, my kidneys are below par due to the cancer, and so any more stress on them, depending on the day, could be very damaging. My liver is damaged from the effects of medications prior to being diagnosed and from when the previous “doctor” dismissed many symptoms causing my liver to worsen. And it interacts with some of the medication I take. So I have to refrain from that as if it is an allergy.
Other things like certain foods I need to treat as an allergy due to its affect on my body. However, these things don’t affect my husband in this way. So he is able to enjoy them. And that is alright because this isn’t about what I am not allowed to have but about what I should steer clear of. God is not keeping me from anything. He is guiding me away from it knowing that it is not good for me. Just like I would do with my children.
I have a 20-year-old son. (It is so weird to see that. I don’t feel as though I am old enough for that but here we are.) He is living out his life as an adult independently making decisions. In order for him to learn, he has to be able to make mistakes. However, when I see that he is going to make a big mistake, I step in and guide him away from that. I talk to him about it, reasoning with him. These are the same things that God does with each one of His children but on a much grander scale. And He is perfect at it. While I am messing up left and right, but I am striving to be the best parent I can be.
The point is, I am not upset because I can’t do something. I am grateful that He shows me where to walk and not walk. He shows me what to do and not do. He knows all and has “been there, done that”. So listening to His wisdom and guidance is for my well-being, and it would be a detriment to the healthy of my mind, body, and soul to throw a fit because I wanted to do something to harm myself and God was steering me away from it. He will allow me to do what I want. He did give us “free will”. But thankfully, He guides. All I have to do is Shema (hear and obey).
If you have in the back of your mind a little “voice” or subconscious prodding of sorts not to do something that is bad for you or to do something that you need to do that you are putting off, follow the directions of God. He wants you to flourish in goodness and holiness. He loves you so very much that He did the impossible to bring us back into right relationship with Him. He is not withholding anything good from you. He gives us all good things. So Shema. And allow Him to guide you as the Shepherd of Psalm 23 guiding His sheep beside still waters providing for us even in the midst of our enemies (trials, tribulations, hurts, depression, pain, sickness, debilitation, and the like).
Gotta go fill up my cup…..