Today has been a pretty good and productive day. Like most days, I get up to the sounds of stomping coming from the floor above me. My guys. They are bright and early kind of guys, just like their dad. He wakes me up with a flurry of questions to be answered right away, and those questions may or may not be related to each other. He is a morning person. I am not. I am a night watch kind of gal. I can stay up all night if need be. But the morning is not my thing.
However, being a mom, I get up and tend to my guys regardless of my body saying, “No, just stay in bed a little bit longer. It is so comfy. And you had chemo yesterday.” To which I reply in my Wonder Woman voice, “But my guys need me.” And off I go to rescue my guys, who, after reaching the top of the stairs, I notice are completely dressed and ready to go. Hmm. I guess they have grown out of the need for me to make sure they get their clothes on without being inside out or backwards. They are growing up so fast.
I do have one guy already moved out and “on his own”. He is currently living with his girl-friend/fiance, and works many hours to “live the dream”. He now is in the beginning stages of the adult life. All of the conversations that we have had about life and what to expect when on one’s own not living with guardians are now being lived out. The long hours of blood, sweat, and tears are now coming to fruition in the life of my eldest son. I still have work in progress with the three younger ones, but the first is always the most anxiety producing and exhilarating according to me. And in my most biased opinion, he is making some of the most correct decisions for his life that I think he could make by being responsible, on time/on task, always safe, and respectful… (that last saying from some of the most talented educators I’ve ever met).
I am grateful God has given me the opportunity to be surrounded by some strong-willed, handsome, and compassionate guys. I get to see the “behind closed doors” kind of guys that they are. Their character is on display at home where their most inner being comes out to converse. Most aren’t that fortunate to see the intimate lives of these special guys. I get to be one of the select few that does. The funny moments and anxious moments are there for me to share in, and I can only be awestruck and dumbfounded by the ability to witness these moments of their lives. They are safe and secure with me, and they know it. How can you not feel all the “warm and fuzzies” of that?!?
I love these guys with my everything. Even doing their laundry gives me a satisfaction that most people probably don’t get when cleaning stank socks. I mean, who in their right mind looks at a pile of dirty laundry and says to themselves, “I am so glad I get to serve these guys in this way.” But truly, I do. I really love what I do. And it is not wrong to feel that way and think that way. My motivation is always to help and support my guys. That gives me purpose and worth. And the best thing is that I am foundational in their wonderful contributions to society. That is not why I do that, but it is a byproduct of serving and supporting them. And I choose to feel like a good part of life rather than a waste. That, in my most humble opinion, is truly living the life.
Gotta go fill up my cup…..