This Morning

The first thing I notice when I walk out onto the back porch this morning is the glisten of the frost as the light reflects from the “street” light. You read that right. There is a “street” light situated between my back yard and the neighbor’s yard behind my house. It makes little sense to me why it is there, but nonetheless, it causes the frost to have a sparkle to it that makes the ground look sparkly and magical.

I had just come home from picking up my son from work as an overnight stocker at the local grocery store. My New Year’s Resolution was to stop smoking this year. I asked him for a cigarette since I am refusing to buy any due to my resolution. I figured, if I don’t have any then I can’t smoke. I have to insert here that I didn’t smoke a lot. I only smoked less than half a pack a day. Every other time I quit, I went “cold turkey”, meaning none whatsoever. This time, I am “tapering”. At least that is what I am calling it.

I step out onto the glistening back porch into the cold followed by my two dogs. They are large breed dogs that can’t stand to be away from me. They follow me around all day everyday as though I might disappear. It is dark except for the street light, and it is quiet. Everyone in my house is asleep except me and my oldest son. My three younger sons will be getting up soon, and after that, there will be no more quiet until they to sleep at the earliest. My husband won’t be up for another couple of hours since he doesn’t have to be at work until eleven.

I am cold and I want to go inside, but I have one more drag on this cigarette and I don’t want to waste it. So I stand there thinking about the majesty of God and how He made the heavens and the earth to work simultaneously without imploding. There are just so very many moving parts to keep track of. I don’t know how He does what He does, but here we are. Still moving and grooving.

The dogs are at the back door looking at me as if to say, “Come on; let’s get out of the cold and into the warm house.” I take my last drag, put the butt out in the ashtray, and I head to the back door. My three-year-old dog seems to act like getting into the house is a race and pushes my eight-year-old dog out of the way of the door. My eight-year-old dog moves to the side as though this is routine, which at this point, it probably is.

Time for some coffee to warm up these bones. My eyes are droopy by this point, but I have a lot to do before the boys get up. I have some reading and studying to do, and it is difficult to concentrate when I have three guys taking turns at “who can say ‘mom’ the most”. Reading makes my eyes even more droopy. So I walk around a bit and think about what I just read.

This study on the gospel of John is in depth and rewarding, but also difficult. I’ve read it so many times before. So I feel jaded from the information. I already know it, but the point behind this particular study is to find the various life application principles out of the text and practically apply it to my life. It’s a gray area when I am a very black-and-white kind of thinker. I am trusting God to change me from the inside out in all areas where I need it.

I hear the boys moving in their beds, waking up for the day. I guess I will move on to my next task, which is laundry, and leave this for later tonight.

Gotta go fill up my cup…..