When I first began to date my husband all those years ago, I thought about our future a lot. Like most couples, there is so much to think about, such as where to live, marriage, children, church, etc. One of the things that I approached him with was holidays. What will the future look like on the holidays – not only while our children are little, but also as they grow older and possibly have families of their own. If we are still alive during that time, what can we do now to set a foundation for gathering together to celebrate our family.
One of the traditions that I introduced was Thanksgiving being celebrated in our family on the Saturday after the traditional Thanksgiving holiday. While the kids are young, it allows them to have this as a normal part of the year that is a bit different than the rest of their friends in the neighborhood. However, when they get older and make different plans for that day, they can experience thanksgiving at their friends’ houses so as to gain a greater understanding of other families’ traditions and values. They can see how their friends gather with family and friends to celebrate their love and gratefulness of one another.
More importantly, they can gain a greater perspective of the community. We are all different and yet the same in many ways. We might not celebrate the same exact way or on the same exact day, but we still respect each other and give to one another our time, our food, and our stories or experiences. We still talk about what may be happening in our lives or what may be going on in the community. We may also discover things about each other that we didn’t know before and that we can learn from. These experiences greatly enhance the understanding and compassion of my sons creating more well rounded outlooks.
Anyone that doesn’t have somewhere to go on Thanksgiving is welcome to come to our house on that Saturday after. We put that message out there to our fellow local church congregants. There were many years that we had a house full. The last couple of years have been sparse in people, but always overflowing with food and love.
God has blessed us so very much each and every year. Even when we did not have but a can of corn and a can of green beans, He has provided every time. There has not been a single Thanksgiving celebration that has gone on without an abundance of savory and sweet items that fill the belly and lighten the soul. And I just have to make sure to mention that my husband is an excellent cook, better than any other person I know. He even told me what he says about our teamwork in the kitchen: “I [my husband] cooks for the taste and experience, while my wife cooks to survive.” I certainly do “cook to survive.” I am cooking for four hungry boys and a husband. And with a very limited budget, I try to make everything we have stretch, but still fill their bellies.
In choosing to hold our Thanksgiving celebration on the Saturday after the traditional day, it ensures that there is a time for my sons to always come back to “Mom and Dad’s” house and gather. The traditional day is for others, but “our” day is for us. It is the one tradition that we began when we first got married that still is being carried out. All of the other traditions we made have been broken for one reason or another. But this one, I pray holds until my husband and I pass or when Jesus comes back. To be completely honest with y’all, I am a bit selfish about this time. I know that time slips away more and more quickly as the years pass. And if and when they have families of their own, I want to hold on to that one time a year when we all come together and enjoy each others’ company and experiences. If there are grandchildren and they live far away, I want to be able to see them at the very least one time a year. I want them to see their cousins at least one time a year. And again, I know this is selfish, but at least it is a good selfish.
Now I am not advocating being selfish, but I recognize that this could all change in a blink of an eye. So I am grateful for the gatherings that I have been a part of thus far. And I am looking forward to the ones that I may get to be a part of in the near future. God is so very good. And I give Him all the glory.
Gotta go fill up my cup…..
Coffee with Candee 