Hitting the Wall

Today, I am hitting the wall. It is not the physical act of hitting a tangible wall. It is merely my body, in a sense, telling me to stop. I had chemo two days ago. As a precursor to chemo, I am given some “pre-meds”. This include Benedryl, Tylenol, and Prednisone. These medications help to stave off some of the side effects or possible complications that go along with receiving chemo. The Prednisone is a steroid, which makes me super energetic the next day into the morning of the following day – which is today.

Yesterday, I completed about 6 loads of laundry and cleaned the kitchen thoroughly. I walked the dogs. Walked the kids to the school bus stop and back. And in the afternoon, walked the boys down to the park. I also decided to sign up on Audible, and listen to books. I listened to 8 chapters of a book. My mind was racing with ideas and tasks to do. This morning, I picked up the prescriptions. Knowing that we were soon to be out of dog food, I drove up to the Pet store to pick up a few things. Mind still chugging along with ideas saw multiple things that we “needed” for the dogs. So I shopped around, trying to hurry so that I am back in time for my husband to go to work with our car.

While in the store, I thought, “Oh, I need to get shampoo for the dogs so that I can give them a bath,” and, “I need to get two big bags of dog food so that we won’t run out,” and, of course, “I need to get a name tag for one of my dogs because he of course needs a name tag.” Then found a couple of balls to throw with the puppy of the two. The puppy is chewing on everything. So I got him a bone to chew on. I sign up for a “Rewards Card” thinking that I will be coming here “all the time”. As you can probably tell, I racked up a pretty large bill. No matter, because they “needed” it.

I left the store feeling good about taking care of our dogs and having a good morning with the fellas. So I get in the car and drive home. Once home, I unload the goods only to discover that the doggie shampoo was not in the bags. So I hurry back up to the store, and lo and behold, there it was still on the counter. So I get the items and go back home. By the time I get home, my husband has to go to work. I apologize – for no reason mind you. But I felt compelled to apologize even though he was not bothered or late. Again, this was my mind racing.

I went outside and threw the ball around for the puppy. I tried with my older dog, and he just looked at me like, “you really expect me to fall for that.” Haha. However, my puppy was super excited running after the ball and bringing it back. I came inside, and the wall was hit. I sat down, and I just could not make myself get up. So here I am, writing about this cancer journey stuff. I might as well document it here. I hope you all are having a wonderful day. I will study the next section of Matthew and post it sooner than later.

Gotta fill up my cup…


Published by Coffee With Candee

I am married and I have four sons that are my whole world. I have a relationship with God through Jesus. Oh, and I have a blood cancer that has no known cure as of yet called Multiple Myeloma. Go Coffee!!!

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